Stay Puft

I have a ghost in my house. I call him Fred. He lives in my closet with the broken lock that I've never been able to open. Every once in a while when I am listening to my favourite radio program, Detective Stories, Fred will pretend he is a character from the radio program and say silly things like, "Let me outta here!" and "Do you know who I am?" Once, I burned sage and fanned the smoke through the crack at the bottom of the door to expel the evil spirit, but it just coughed and cursed me. So I just accepted that he is there and sometimes we have meaningful conversations and it's funny, every once an a while he'll ask for some food...